"Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident”.
** Louis de Bernières **
I talk about the ever-changing form of love a lot. It has so many meanings and so many faces for us all, (which makes it very difficult to pin down.) But, it really doesn't need to be categorized or measured; that is the biggest problem in relationships.
We make love something other than it is and it becomes riddled with expectations. Then it is blamed for the let down and the inner pain when in fact it is our own distortion and comparisons that tear it apart. The relationship becomes this 'thing', based on a memory or a fairy tale or both (wrapped up in delusion.)
So after the fire has died, and the thighs don’t quiver in lust anymore it is very hard to rekindle the flame. It takes skill and artistry to keep a spark alive and quite frankly, most don’t have the wisdom, knowledge or the energy. Which (to me) is empty – That emptiness is a hole that is left in the ashes in the core of the soul. Yet, it is the very core essence that was seen at the beginning. It was seen through the eyes of “being in love” and is now viewed as nothing.
~ We could all learn to love nothing ~
Because underneath it all…. is how two people were brought together –
It is “the fortunate accident”, the beautiful meeting, and the electricity of bodies colliding to make one love. But the truth is, real people change.
And when it is over, the most important thing to remember is gratitude. It often gets lost in the blame and the mess, which remains in the heat of the memory. That memory is usually comprised of how it was, compared to how it is.. and it hurts.
So to salvage the pride and recapture the misplaced moments, a simple Thank You to that relationship is the key. Say thank you for their time, their presence, and all that you (as a couple) went through together. It can ignite a big beautiful sigh and perhaps some inner peace. Once you arrive here, it can shed a lot of light on whom you love and how you love. Forgiveness reigns in gratitude.
– This is the artistry in the lesson and can paint your heart a new color when you feel it has faded to black.
And just that simple understanding…our love changes, changes everything - Period.
It grows up, it rises, it falls and it is a lifetime of stories.
Even if you try to deny it, it is always here/there – Just as the seasons, night to Day, day to night. Birth and death, the beginning and the end - it is life and Love is the ultimate thread through it all.
Don't be fooled by a dwindling emotion – Emotion is not solely love.
Love is that gift in a fleeting moment. We, you and I can never hold it. If we try, just like water, it only slips away. Then poof! Like magic, yes, the love has changed again.
The best way to love is to let it be. With that, there is freedom. With freedom there is acceptance and in acceptance… there is pure love, everything in tack. It rises from the ashes again. And that amazing Love is “art and a fortunate accident” that is ready to bring us to another time and place, with someone new to collide with.
There are no coincidences – ever. (dl)