It is a fine line we walk, but there are times when we need get personal, down and dirty. Time to be heard with a steady tone, a balanced voice and open up our truth (even when our ego is desperately fighting us) because there is a huge difference between emotion and being emotional, being personal and taking things to heart “personally”.
I love the premise behind Don Miguel Ruiz, the Four Agreements.
– I really do. It gave me a bigger picture into my ego, my insecurities and self-control… BUT, “Don’t take anything Personally” can hold a dark side –
Stay with me, if you will.
If we stop taking things “personally”, there is a tendency to become “Spock-like” robotic, and indifferent. This indifference can be used as a shield but the air around it can be misconstrued as cold and uncaring and as we all know, we are what we think, feel and do - detached and Unemotional.
And knowing that detachment is not about losing emotion, it is discerning the emotional value of our soul, so when it comes to matters of the heart; it is almost an impossibility not to be “personal.”
Our pride takes on so many faces, but one that is never easily masked is the deep seeded, heart felt incision that often comes out of no-where (sideswipes us) to remind us we in fact… are human.
And this isn’t an excuse to sidestep our feelings to make us look like we don’t give a damn, because there are plenty of times when we really do, yet we don’t say anything and that is a one-way ticket to internal hell. This about coming clean and real to the marrow when some inner damage has been done; it is about paying attention a wound that has been reopened - seeping, oozing and needing a bit of attention (like - major stitches, not a band-aide to stop the bleeding).
"Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth."
~ Mahatma Gandhi
I am speaking to the smallest part of our past that clings to unresolved and painful issues. The ones that seem to be the minutia of our “triggers” and can really unleash the badass in us all.
And contrary to turning away (as our halo is slipping, and our backs are up against a wall) the last thing we need to do is to pretend we are unscathed. What might need to happen is to tear a hole through that façade, step through the energy of the bullshit, and stand tall.
I want it all to be personal – and I will tell you when you have crossed the line.
We don’t need to invoke the unconscious dirt being thrown in our face; we must use the intelligence of our higher vibration – strong, sold, and intuitive. And there is never shame in being in our truth, walking and talking our truth. That is action light years ahead of any hidden agenda that pretends to be unaffected by nasty thoughts words or deeds we absorb.
Just own it, don’t wear it but it is Ok to acknowledge where we hurt.
The thing about “not taking it personally” is: No matter what we do, when the hammer comes down, there is noise. This noise vibrates to the core. We never have to re-act, but to say we were not touched by it is impossible; it’s a lie. We are changed in some way – and we must process it. That change will definitely have an effect from that moment on. To act as if it didn’t leave a mark is pure denial.
Touch the wound, feel it the scar, and take it all personally! It is personal.
Be impeccable with your word, pull it all in, roll around in it and let it be the catalyst for your best. Assumptions are indeed dangerous: don’t make them - but it is totally safe to assume that when we hurt, if we don’t break it down, it will eventually break us.
Make agreements that align with your totality and don’t forget the commitment, the agreement to being up close and personal – and to being human. A human that has taken things personally, but worked with it, through it and moved on. (dl)