~ Addicts do one of two things; disrupt your world by their presence, or disrupt your world by their absence...

The typical reason that our friends/family disappear without a word or explanation is: They are doing or being someone/something that they know we would not approve of, they cannot face us. 

 …And even if they are with you, right in front of you, they are far far away. They have lost their presence to the addiction as they leave us dumbfounded without cause – and it hurts.

When they go, they may or may not re-surface...upon the return, the motives are less than clean. They will show up with an apology and an excuse while you sat in turmoil trying to figure out if they were dead or alive, and what in the world you did to have them exit so suddenly. They tend to go in and out of our lives as if we were willingly opening and closing the door for them. Oh how distorted that view is as we remain completely invisible - and it hurts. 

They are masters at sabotage because their actions of inconsideration are out of intoxication. They push you away, do things they know will disappoint, hoping to get you so pissed you explode. This method is how they lay blame in their ever-unaccountable being because it is easier for them to be horrid, than it is to come clean.

~ Here is where you get a huge dose of life (a lesson of inner strength), but only if you are willing to dive in to get past them - even when it hurts ~

Please understand it is not about you and there is nothing you can do but love them anyway. It is locating that love you hold for them fully, deeply, truly...  (far deeper than the addictions are to them.) You have to prove it to yourself – and it hurts.

Whether or not they come through, or come clean… You must. (Going down the rabbit hole with them is so uncalled for and you need to be clear and clean to survive) - Their desire has nothing to with you. Get it right… You will be last, you will be lost, and you will be given away to the addiction.. But remember, they can't take your soul – Even when you hurt.

These people, (our family and friends) live in constant pain, self-loathing and the only light they have is a drink of bad reality. They have been placed in our lives for many reasons. Your call. But the sooner you release them unto themselves, the sooner you will find inner peace.

The damage they do? It IS repairable, but rarely forgotten. Please forgive yourself first then embrace them with all your heart. You cannot fix them, change them, or show them a better life unless they ask and are ready to do the work (and the work is HUGE). But it is not your job, no matter how much they "need" you, they need themselves more. Don't enable. Make them accountable – even as it hurts.

And through it all, remember that this too shall pass. So when they heal, (if they heal) what “was” has come and now gone; it is up to you to move on with or without them.

Addicts affect all they come in contact with – but it works both ways to the good and bad. This is a higher level of understanding, being able to create a gift out of potential disaster. Find your compassion; locate the love, it is there... just let it all go - One small step to change. 

Time heals and only time can tell that you/they will be better and stronger for it…

Even though… it hurts. (dl)

Like Minded Thinking 12/16 by FuzzyManning | Business Podcasts

Like Minded Thinking 12/16 by FuzzyManning | Business Podcasts

~ losing it

A shift can happen layer by layer. If there is something that you really want to show up, give it space to enter. This when and where you say yes. 

By definition, the things we want to "lose" hang on simply because we won't let them go. Why? It is hard to get past the current image, to step out and step up without fear. But, if you remove the negative connotation to the word or situation and practice in their opposite things change rapidly. 

The reason that diets or other things of that nature do not work is they reinforce a negative view of your image. If you say "I am on a Diet" This equates to: I do not like my body, depravation, I am heavy and unhealthy. Before any pounds can be shed, the habitual view we base our self judgements on must be altered and that begins inside. 

Shifting.. What if you honor your vessel and you want to feel better mentally and physically? Begin with celebrating the body instead of comparing, condemning and loathing it. This alters the perception of intake.  When you work from the inside out (developing the love for self) the quest becomes positive and affirms making healthy choices. If you eat for your health and well being, instead of habit or masking the obvious..the body/mind react to your honor. It is truly re-training the mind and then the body follows. Everyday by installing the affirmation, results will yield to the positive. It works, it is free, it is healthy, and a life style that will alter your entire Being. 

The first step is really listening to the language inside your head and out the mouth. When you establish (recognize) your habits it is much easier to quell them. Next is to affirm your intention everyday, over and over. The last, and oh so important is to put it into motion. You will discover as the mind is re-trained, you lose interest in the so called "bad" desires and habits. This is not an easy road but it is the one that takes you many places..

Observe your thoughts, clean them up. Give honor and reverence to the new you.. be your change inside out (dl) 

~ nothing to hold..

We tend to be very possessive, protective and righteous about our concepts and love. The "momma bear" syndrome kicks in when we are up against a wall, especially for our loved ones and beliefs. But ponder this, the Higher message…There is nothing to possess we don't own any of it.  "Mine" is not an option, not even our opinions so, there is nothing to defend. This is a tough one, stay with with me.. 

Everything you know, you have, or you receive, is from another Source. ~ It is the infinite spiral, interconnection ~ So to lay claim, defend or go to war for anything outside the heart is time wasted and brings us back to a place we are all trying to leave known as [separation…]

Without "ownership" comes with a responsibility. That responsibility is to uphold your virtues with the absence debate. When you are challenged, accept you are challenged because everyone has an idea of "how it is"…please don't take it personally or out of context. I am not speaking about danger. I am speaking to the vibration, the energy, the Love.. For every time you get riled up, it depletes you..

Consider the next level. It is a quiet one, a peaceful one minus the over zealous Ego. Perhaps in time, it will all make sense? I am not sure, I don't know. But at this juncture what I can tell you is that it just feels good to surrender. I offer this view,  it has served me well and in a time when there is so much turbulence, it is nice to have something to bring calm. When you understand you have nothing, then you truly have it all...  (dl)

~ Our partners in relation to the ship that sails..

They show up when you least expect it. That is when chasing the elusive perfection comes to an end and we are open to what/who stands in front of us.


Going in… Be a friend before a lover.

The most important thing to remember is that Love will never hurt you… But, Emotions attached to what love is "supposed" to look like - will.


The first one who takes our breath away isn't always the one who will resuscitate us. In the beginning we are blinded, excited, unsure, but that is temporary, Know this well.. We all change and you must be open to this. Nothing will be the same as it was when you first met, this is a truth, and trying to keep it in its original form is the open door to resentment. You may grow together, or grow apart..that is how life works. Simple. Don't make it complicated or dramatic.

They can not read your mind.. so speak openly. Communicate. If you think they "should know" because they know you? That is selfish and unyielding.

If there are red flags? Your heart will tell you. Listen or pay the price. Don't allow someone in just to fill the void. If you think you will be the catalyst for better behavior, you are sadly mistaken. Don't let your ego fool you…They will only take on their change when they are ready willing and able. Waiting for this to happen? A root cause of suffering.

Don't hide what you love to do, to feel or to see.. How dare you be dishonest or ashamed for the sake or fear of losing them. That is disrespecting them, more importantly disrespecting your own Soul.

Accept them, all of them, just as you want to be accepted. If you can not at an early stage of the relationship, bow out - it will not be any different down the road.

Choose your battles. Really ? What purpose does it serve to fight. The answer is.. None. There is NO winner.. only pain.

Give each other time and space.. it is the gift of being true.
And if it ends, It was not meant to be. Thank them. You two came together for many reasons. Hopefully you can walk on with peace and dignity. Remember you chose them to be in your life and if you have ill-will now, what kind of a reflection are you honestly looking at?

Lastly, the heart may feel broken for the moment, but all that means is you are truly open, you will heal. And.. it is a beautiful reminder of just how alive you are ♥ (dl)
~ this was written in response to a heart felt message received today.. Thank you ~ A.Z.