~ In times of sadness and desperation it is natural to seek out relief via another vehicle (i.e. someone else to validate our pain and to fix it) but please beware that No One has the ability or the authority to do that. And while finding temporary comfort in warm words, or the touch of another’s presence is a beautiful way to take the edge off - in the end, the responsibility is our own to get it right….
It has to be understood that along side our pain we get to do the work. Repeat, “get to”. That work is our salvation. Although it is a double edged sword, the sword has the ability (when accompanied by love) to cut through the toxic B.S. we ensue. Use it properly and it will make room for gratitude no matter how ugly the situation is -
So when we are looking for the neat and tidy answers we want to hear instead of a raw heart truth - those intensely wanted words can work against our inner healing. They only serve (momentarily) as a band-aide that simply covers up the mess.
If commiseration is really needed... run to it but don’t forget it is not anyone else’s job to repair what has been broken, slashed or disturbed. Hopefully they (the commiserators) can hold some light for you to honor what is truly going on. A light for you to look at it (the pain); touch it; feel it; and put a name to it without playing the blame game – (Blame tends to make us weak and spiteful.)
We are all here learning to ride the wave of the world and to get better, not bitter.
The power to find solace is in our own hands…
Take it on, to move on and may peace be your companion. (dl)