Sunday, May 14, 2017

Mom...



In silence, a picture captures a thousand unsaid words and there is so much more to people than what we “think” we know…

For years I struggled with the relationship I had with my mother - there was a huge void. In my young eyes she was unavailable and empty to my emotions. She was “busy,” always busy and dismissive to so many of my questions.

I felt alone, unnoticed and a bit rejected.

Many years later into my adult life (and with the help of a wonderful teacher) that all changed. I was shown that my mother’s unavailability was a huge blessing. Her distant ways enabled me to do things, learn things, and figure out things for myself. I realized she gave me more than “absence” - she gave me strength and independence.

When this unfolded, the resentment began to melt my heart. A heart that I thought was closed off to her and I could open the door to compassion I held so tightly as it traded places with the bitterness. I was shown in more ways than one - a lighter, gentler side to my ego and ignorance.

We can’t change people… we can only change our reactions to them.

I now know she didn’t answer my queries because she didn’t know how to respond. I also now understand the vacancy -  she needed to “be” someone else other than a trapped housewife and the wife of a man who hung his own problems in a bottle.
She needed her space – she is human…

I am lucky that I have a Mom, as there are many that do not. And as I still try to understand our opposition to so many things, I also know without her, I am nothing – No thing, no soul, no person, no reason.

Lessons of love, lessons well learned. There is so much more to people than what we “think” we know… We can’t help where we come from but we can change the way we think and feel about it all.
Let love in.

To all the Moms, the Dads who are Moms, and all the ones in the village… 
Happy Mother's Day!


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-debbie lynn

Monday, May 8, 2017

Impermanence Sucks: Coping with the Cosmic Dance


Impermanence sucks, it just does.

In our humanness, it seems we all want consistency and predictability; we rely on habits and patterns even when we know that nothing lasts forever. Knowing that longevity is only a dream, why do we get sideswiped by loss and change? For me, this is why:
  • I feel sad when I see the fallen leaf turning to lace, holding on to a skeleton of the past.
  • I feel empty when a rainbow dissolves.
  • I feel melancholy when I hear the coo of a dove whispering a distant melody.
  • I breakdown when the ghost of a time come-and-gone is tainted by my undependable memory.
Life. Death. Life….
Yeah, yeah, yeah—this is all too flowery? Sorry, but I need the aroma. I mean life goes on and then it dies. It renews, reshapes and reinvents itself to conform to the current situation. It goes round and round, and every inch of my being understands that there is something else, but there are times when I would like to hold on to the fragrance a little longer.
So I breathe in the cosmic dance that is so intricate and unyielding it can’t possibly stay still, and maybe that’s the point: maybe by accepting a metamorphosis that soothes the restless mind and lets us strive for the impossible, impermanence will give us a means to an end?
Or maybe it can help assimilate a deep long look into internal and infinite movements that “appear” to die. Or maybe, just maybe, it can help us find solace in, “There is a time and place for everything.”
“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.”
― Rabindranath Tagore
But my questions as to what really happens after death can be so heavy. Many people have so many theories. I can’t help but think there is a bigger purpose to life than birth-taxes-death. Also, attaching too much emotion to people, places and things that will be stripped away from me is nothing short of brutal.
Such is life.
But when we really get to that edge—that sharp and cutting edge—a new view might reveal things about love, how love is taken for granted. And while the thoughts of loss hover in the head and make us weep, I wonder if holding life a little gentler in our hearts makes a difference.
I decided, instead of crying for the pain, I can cry for a moment-of-pain because that pain is now transforming into something else; that’s what it does. So remembering that nothing lasts forever in its original form is a good place to start.

We get only get one chance, one time, one moment. That’s all there is, even when possessions look and feel familiar; they are fleeting.

“Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realize that nothing really belongs to them.”
― Paulo Coelho
And this is something else I ponder: after it is all said and done, after the last seed has been returned to the dirt and the last song has been sung… all of it—all of It—has the propensity to be something other than it was before. That’s kind of cool.
So when I sat with this, “impermanence” sucked a bit less and I finally understood it is a truth laced in change. Then I embraced that ol’, “Change is good,” phrase and let the “truth” simply die to be reborn again and again and again.
All of that helped, but… impermanence still sucks.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Separation


Keep your heart close to your bones and your arms wide open…

The tragedy of separation is when we stop living, stop embracing life, and give way to a slow erosion of the soul. 
When we think that we are protected by time and space, and touch is replaced by observance – and when heart truth is replaced by uncommitted surrender as the light inside dwindles… 
it’s a tragedy. 

This tragedy seeps into the marrow, depletes the must-needed oxygen and makes us tired. 
It pulls on the heartstrings and each blade of the shoulder becomes heavier, burdened and alone.

We are not masters of illusion – none of us.
We are transparent, connected and fragile no matter what the outside appears to be…

We are not hopeless until we avow to disconnect.
And when we checkout… we selfishly punish no one and everyone.
So despondent isn’t really chic, or hip or current; it is old and redundant, 
please don’t get it twisted.

Every breath you are breathing is the breath of millions – feel it, know it, because it is wildly exciting to be a part of the bigger inhalation. 
Undulating... the wave is always in motion. Make no mistake life isn’t waiting to be called or acknowledged and crawling to a standstill is a lie – 

we are totally mobile mind/body/soul – reach for it.
Yes we need each other.
We need a global resurrection of a 'united front' 
so every person, (man woman and child) will never 
have to experience the tragedy of separation.
-debbie lynn

“When you make a world tolerable for yourself,
you make a world tolerable for others.”
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                                -Anais Nin