"Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident”.
** Louis de Bernières **
Love: it has so many meanings and so many faces it is very difficult to pin down - but it really doesn't need to be categorized or measured; and trying make one size fits all is dangerous.
When we try to make love something other than it is, it becomes riddled with expectations. Then it is blamed for the let down and the inner pain when in fact; it is our own distortion and comparisons that tear it apart. This is when a relationship becomes a 'thing' based on a memory or a fairy tale or both - everything about it gets wrapped up in delusion.
And if the fire has died and the thighs don’t quiver in lust anymore, it is very hard to rekindle the flame. It takes skill and artistry to keep a spark alive and quite frankly, most of us don’t have the wisdom or the energy.
So when it is over, love often gets lost in the blame and a mess which remains in the heat of the memory. That memory is usually comprised of how it was, compared to how it is and it hurts.
It all becomes so empty – and that emptiness is a hole left in the core of the soul viewed as nothing.
But being empty is what we really need; it's a good thing and it and how real people are brought together. It is the “art and a fortunate accident” the beautiful meeting, and the electricity of bodies colliding to make one. This is an important thing to embrace. Out of nothing, something is born.
This is the artistry in the lesson, and can paint your heart a new color when you feel it has faded to black. Just understanding that our love changes, will change everything - and it does.
Love grows up, it rises, it falls and it is a lifetime of stories.
Don't be fooled by a dwindling emotion, emotion is not solely love. Love is that gift in a fleeting moment. We, you and I can never hold it. If we try, just like water, it only slips away. Like magic, yes, the love has changed again.
To salvage the pride and recapture the misplaced moments, a simple “Thank You” to that relationship is the key. Say thank you for their time, their presence, and all that you (as a couple) went through together. Say "Thank you" so you can move on. This can ignite a big beautiful sigh and perhaps some inner peace. Once you arrive here, it will shed a lot of light on whom you love and how you love. Remember, forgiveness reigns in gratitude.
The best way to love is to let it be. With that, there is freedom. With freedom, there is acceptance and in acceptance there is pure love. It rises from the ashes and is ready to bring us to another time and place.
There are no coincidences – ever - just a fortunate accident.
-debbie lynn
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