BENDING NOT TO BREAK

We never have to give up our intentions just to make peace, but we can bend to have serenity.

Resiliency in a world that demands rigidity can easily break our spirit – don’t let it, rise above it –don’t hold back. Lean into your words in order to save yourself from being chastised mind/body/soul. No one can take that from you.

And there are certain times when life gets us down so we fold. Try not to stay there too long because when we are bent over, all the blood rushes to the head – and that is how we black out.

I mean we are all human, why can’t we crack open that stupid idea of perfection? It is in our imperfections we are shown flexibility and acceptance… and like the delicate flexing of willow that weeps so beautifully….

To bend is breath taking.

Here is what I know -
When you spill your milk it’s ok to cry about it.
When you trip over your words you may bruise the ego.
You can crash into life and unapologetically smiled to it.
You can sing the song of blue valor and someone else will always color it yellow.
So what?
When your heart is burning, and your belly cries out, it is time to crawl
into safety, a protection from rigid intolerance.
Bend a little.

We don’t need to be courageous to speak our heart. Courage will show up. When you need a dose of isolation because the outer noise is just too much to bear find a quiet space. Meet it head on any day, any time, anywhere.

Raise a glass, here's to a world without resistance… affirm:

Dear Suppleness,
You are my light, my ink, and my destiny and when I bend, I will try not to break. I know there is so much more possibility than what any rigid energy can do –
Bring it on…. to bend is so breath taking and beautiful (dl)

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OUR STORY IS WHERE WE MEET OUR SELF - Tell it like it is

             

               
The content of our life, the blood we had to shed and the tears of joy or sadness – this is the story. Who we have been, who we will be, and who we are… right now. (dl)

Our story…

It is just being honest inside and taking a few chances, but not making our stuff stupidly dramatic and hopelessly romantic – keep it real.

Over the years our story morphs, or might even disappear, but the one thing that will always remain is the change it had in us, to us, and with us.  And this change (big or small) whether we believe in it (or not) is nothing short of spiritual alchemy – Yes, it happens and we can’t do a thing about it – but acceptance is a cool thing to put in our pocket.

It is a playground of experiences maxed out, stretched out, that put us out-of- mind because in all this mental hopscotch it seems like we are the only ones suffering –

Heads up sunshine, we are not.

Yes, it is just a story.

So when we grab a hold of our world gone mad, shake it to the core, little diamonds begin to tumble to the ground and this is where we get to pick them up and either use them to cut glass, or to wear them – it’s a choice.

And after it is all said in done, will the story matter? That is one more piece of the mysterious puzzlement of our purpose – personal, artistic and alive. We need to be open to the possibility that it didn’t matter at all, except in that one tiny moment of our life, and life goes on. 

But when we look in the mirror do we see the years of a worn torn vision caressing an image we hold in our head, or do we ignore it? Do we play safe for the sake of our sanity? Color the past or make it black and white?

It is so very hard to look deeply into the eyes of a time come and gone (with head our held high) and accept some of our decisions were probably not the best. But there were times when all we wanted was a bigger truth and we paid for it dearly.  So we replay the situation over and over and ask where it was that we went awry.

Enter the endless circle. When we fall into that habitual redundancy, we get a bit sour about it all (but it is of our own doing) because of the double-edged sword – damned if we do, damned if we don’t. In other words, the story needs high emotion to sustain interest.

The intensity of retelling our “stuff” can ignite a flame that should have been put out long ago or it can be cathartic – again, we have many choices, so we must pick our inner and outer audience wisely. 

The art of the tale is how it is told.  Did we learn, did we share it with wisdom or beat it to death in drama and bitterness?  If it holds no credence anymore perhaps it should be released from the repertoire and start a different conversation.

But before we can say, “The end” we need to be completely honest with our heart.  If it doesn’t hurt anymore when begin to speak about it – put it bed. It is done.  If it a twinge still appears in our gut, or something makes us tingle in a not so good way, there is more to learn, more to know, more to grow. 

Dig deeper.

With any luck at all we find serenity - a solemn serenity that we all have to face sooner or later. It can be cold and brutal but it is (in my mind) the best form of enlightenment out there.

Our story is in fact, where we meet our self. Extend your hand gratefully and say, Hello… (dl)

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FREE SPIRT – OLD SOUL

There is such a misconception about our free spirit –

Clarity to the misfits…
We live in the moment, but that doesn’t mean we are without responsibility.
It means following the heart, the core, and we are immersed in life fully. There are no stipulations, no regulations, and no conditions (for the most part).

We are: Gypsies, bohemians, hippies, artists, poets, muses, writers, dancers and usually loners with an abundant amount of friends. We live to live, love to live and love all life has to offer, all of it - and freedom is the music of our soul that drives us home.

The free spirit knows a deep respect for nature as it amuses and amazes us constantly.
We are misunderstood (thought to be a bit whacked) and we do (and say) the things most people won’t.

We are risk-takers; solid lovers and we don’t do much about “what if.”
We are said to be “old souls” with wisdom beyond our years but we earned it.
We have been chastised, criticized, mocked, and then admired for our knowing.

Temptations find us, touch us and move us to tears. While we are looking out for the wounded and the underbelly of what life really means, we stumble, we fall but we always get up again.

People often think we don’t care about much yet we do. We care deeply, intently and wholly. And if it appears that we are disinterested, or inattentive; it is only that we standing outside a fine line of involvement. That line is a conscious choice we make to try not to interfere where we know we are not meant to be.

The only thing that scares us is the toxic energy of drama, (we don’t need it or want it around).

Some believe we have already been here many times and that our taste of life is exotic and savory. Some think it is only in our past experiences and lives that we conquered so much tragedy and pain that we now have such a carefree view. I am on the fence about all that but living in and with the lighter side of life brings simple happiness, this I know to be true.

It is embracing what comes our way good bad or indifferent, being in the flow and not trying to swim upstream all time.

So the mantra, it goes like this:
We are ordinary souls with NO intention of having an ordinary life.
We live the highs and the lows and all points in-between.
The spirit is in us and will continue to be “A Rebel without a cause” –

But isn’t that what life is all about? Living to the fullest, throwing caution to the wind? If you are nodding your head as you read along, you are in good company but you know how difficult it can be, and as our spirits collide, dance in the moon lit sky, it is nice to have some conscious camaraderie.

I see you, you see me and we know….

Life is a gift, and we are never promised to be kissed by the wind. Through it all, our hands are held together by a common thread - that thread is the presence of the free spirit ….called love. (dl)

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CONVERSATIONS KILLS

I want a new dialog. I want new words and new visions because I am tired of listening to what is coming. “Coming” has no bearing on our moment – but the moment has everything every thing to do with what will be –

I want delicious, juicy, and enticing expressions from the heart – the ones that hold me hostage the second they leave your mind. I want emotion and designation dripping with substance - I know it is out there… Let’s talk about it.

But I guess the present is far too boring for most, so the same mantras project and persist like a bad advertisement for spirituality - (the redundancy becomes insolent and so very annoying) because there isn’t a new paradigm; it is simply the old one wrapped up in a pretty package, and the parallels haven’t shifted they are still in alignment.  I want that old adage to melt away.

The universal voice is still crying aloud just as gravity still pulls at the heartstrings. And nothing is darker than force that sucks the life out of us when all our hopes are shattered by needless delusional mind chatter.

We read and hear about a formidable future that no one could possibly know of and then, the future shows up in a different form and all bets are off when that ‘moment” rose without monumental change. Enter disappointment – the sad are even sadder, and the believers turn to stone.

The only survivors are the ones who knew instinctively the grandest miracles are afoot – and those miracles? They were just too ordinary and obvious to speak about for the masses.

But appreciation can come in like a breath of fresh air when we pause for just the slightest sound that lights up the imagination.  Remember that? Remember what it is like to hear the distant bell, a cricket in the grass or the trill of a bird in flight and talk about it?

Those are just a few of the important conversations that are wafting around above us waiting to be captured again and embraced.  Tell me, please tell me what you hear.

Hold my hand and give a small squeeze of acknowledgment with your words.  The premise might look like this: Is it real?  Is it purposeful?  Does it add merit to the missing pieces of the moment so it doesn’t end up depending on a future that hasn’t happened?

And while wasting time trying to manufacture prophecies of brilliance and enlightenment takes the edge off a dull day (yes - I get that) if it was only understood how much power we actually hold over our future through conversation of immediacy; it would change the way we think and speak about our “now”.  We would certainly talk with the highest amount of inner respect for more succulent vocabulary toward our self and others. 

Karma, (our echo) is power, intrepid and real – for better or worse, it all returns.   Again, in terms of this moment… abundant gratitude will reign favorable.

So the dead ideals that are still aimlessly drifting and alighting into the unconscious are vapid yet, systemic - and it is more than time to bring an awareness to a society that is suffocating by an antiquated “what if’” because tomorrow never comes.

Why create scenarios with insidious talk of doom and gloom through repeated regurgitation of self-righteous atrocities? Past dramatic scenarios come at a huge price and end up escalating the problems (keeping them alive) instead of finding resolution; it also thwarts any progress in purposeful language.

Let’s raise the bar to beautiful articulation with grace in our hearts and our voice now. 

It doesn’t have to be complex, we can converse in simplicity, one that has depth and meaning as 

there is an abundance of subtly found in an effortless, flowing, and real-time conversation.  (dl)

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DON’T TAKE “ANYTHING” PERSONALLY

It is a fine line we walk, but there are times when we need get personal, down and dirty. Time to be heard with a steady tone, a balanced voice and open up our truth (even when our ego is desperately fighting us) because there is a huge difference between emotion and being emotional, being personal and taking things to heart “personally”.

I love the premise behind Don Miguel Ruiz, the Four Agreements.

– I really do. It gave me a bigger picture into my ego, my insecurities and self-control…  BUT, “Don’t take anything Personally” can hold a dark side –

Stay with me, if you will.

If we stop taking things “personally”, there is a tendency to become “Spock-like” robotic, and indifferent. This indifference can be used as a shield but the air around it can be misconstrued as cold and uncaring and as we all know, we are what we think, feel and do - detached and Unemotional.

And knowing that detachment is not about losing emotion, it is discerning the emotional value of our soul, so when it comes to matters of the heart; it is almost an impossibility not to be “personal.”

Our pride takes on so many faces, but one that is never easily masked is the deep seeded, heart felt incision that often comes out of no-where (sideswipes us) to remind us we in fact… are human.

And this isn’t an excuse to sidestep our feelings to make us look like we don’t give a damn, because there are plenty of times when we really do, yet we don’t say anything and that is a one-way ticket to internal hell. This about coming clean and real to the marrow when some inner damage has been done; it is about paying attention a wound that has been reopened - seeping, oozing and needing a bit of attention (like - major stitches, not a band-aide to stop the bleeding).

"Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth,  for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your  time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is  still the truth."

~ Mahatma Gandhi

 I am speaking to the smallest part of our past that clings to unresolved and painful issues. The ones that seem to be the minutia of our “triggers” and can really unleash the badass in us all.

And contrary to turning away (as our halo is slipping, and our backs are up against a wall) the last thing we need to do is to pretend we are unscathed. What might need to happen is to tear a hole through that façade, step through the energy of the bullshit, and stand tall. 

I want it all to be personal – and I will tell you when you have crossed the line.

We don’t need to invoke the unconscious dirt being thrown in our face; we must use the intelligence of our higher vibration – strong, sold, and intuitive. And there is never shame in being in our truth, walking and talking our truth. That is action light years ahead of any hidden agenda that pretends to be unaffected by nasty thoughts words or deeds we absorb. 

Just own it, don’t wear it but it is Ok to acknowledge where we hurt.

The thing about “not taking it personally” is: No matter what we do, when the hammer comes down, there is noise. This noise vibrates to the core. We never have to re-act, but to say we were not touched by it is impossible; it’s a lie. We are changed in some way – and we must process it. That change will definitely have an effect from that moment on.  To act as if it didn’t leave a mark is pure denial.

Touch the wound, feel it the scar, and take it all personally! It is personal.

Be impeccable with your word, pull it all in, roll around in it and let it be the catalyst for your best.  Assumptions are indeed dangerous: don’t make them - but it is totally safe to assume that when we hurt, if we don’t break it down, it will eventually break us.

Make agreements that align with your totality and don’t forget the commitment, the agreement to being up close and personal – and to being human. A human that has taken things personally, but worked with it, through it and moved on.   (dl)

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THE ENTANGLEMENT A VALENTINE

This holiday (for many) is the single most destructive bone marrow crushing day on the calendar; and it is coined a celebration of love?

That idea is twisted.
The expectations are high and disappointment brings us low. It is a day of, “Will he, will she, simply follow through”? And the overly dramatized letdown rears its nasty little head -
Oh that fairy tale usually doesn’t end well.

…..and the velvet rose still has thorns.

Quietly awaiting
for a tiny gesture of affection
wrapped in red.
Red, the color of love
the color of blood,
the color anger
and the velvet petal rose still has thorns.

Once upon a time
glistening objects of adoration
were seen through
the heart,
not a dollar value
not ice,
not a card
with sticky words draped in script

The gentleness
of a ribbon-wrapped token
is a lie,
is alive,
is the keeper of commitment
and the velvet petal rose still has thorns

To take our emotion
and compact it into a single moment,
a single hour
a single day
is too explosive
too twisted
too much
empty
void

This so-called day of “love” rips the dignity out of our soul.
An unsanctioned devotion - we don’t need approval or decree. We can actually have love everyday. A love without pink ribbons attached to a make-believe heartache when we retell love lost over the forgotten ritual.
Leave that ritual alone for the world that lives inside their box.

We don’t need to be a fool for ceremony.

…the velvet petal rose still has thorns. (dl)

WISH

The edifice of a wish…

I closed my eyes and let institution take over, melting away the stream of conscious. My wish is that wishing wasn’t a place where we go to escape, and that it wasn’t associated with hope or magic….

Finding life inside the hope is like the unfulfilled prayer - a mystical, ethereal illusion that has led my heart to the depths of disappointment. I wagered everything I own on the roll of the dice, and the anesthetized position of nothingness. In this space, there is a sudden loss of accountability in a hopeful moment, as the stakes are high and the risk factor is huge.

I find the secret vein and tap in.

The initial thought of fruition is a rush. An injected adrenaline hit of the surreal.

It is the transcendental world of a fairy tale – and we all know that fairy tales can be violent and dark, not always the stuff dreams are made of yet, I wish.

The temptation is to get lost at sea, find the falling star and puff the magic dragon. It is the allure of my subconscious as it dangles like the proverbial carrot in my face, calling me out to reach the hungry desire.

That hunger is alive and must be fed.

I stand alone in my intimate wishes; it is hard to keep both feet on the ground. One of them planted firmly in inner logic, the other dancing in probability and I implore them to come together – but to no avail. For some reason, they won’t play nicely in the sand box, so the push-pull tries to separate my yen.

I know the beauty of being starved holds a deeper appreciation for the sustenance, so I load up on the intake but never without benediction. In grace and deed, there isn’t a wish to be had; it will remain in that delicate empty space, null and void, untouched and formless.

To make any want a reality, I click my heals three times and get to it. Igniting the source, putting source into purpose, and the karmic wheel goes round. I have taken it to the next level and now, and I begin my work.

Manifestation can happen; it really can and it is just cause for encouraging that inner rush again. It is desire, the ravenousness feeling without expectations, and nursing the obsession of possibility. It is knowing that the possibility is only found in truth because when desire is backed by the universe, it supersedes it all.

Mindful thoughts, clarity in my disillusion, no pain no gain as I reach for the falling star. This is stuff our dreams are made of but I don’t get to have them fulfilled until I am full.

So, filling up is why I do my thing.

Back to the surreal, the reality of a moment that needs no introduction. We are always (and never) given another chance to change what is – a wish upon a wish that needs a conscious mind to devour the improbable and create safety.

NO more running. NO more hiding and when we play the mind well, there is a wealth of security - Good to know, so trying to escape doesn’t need to be an option based on a wish… anymore. (dl)

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