In
silence, a picture captures a thousand unsaid words and there is so much more to
people than what we “think” we know…
For
years I struggled with the relationship I had with my mother - there was a huge
void. In my young eyes she was unavailable and empty to my emotions. She was
“busy,” always busy and dismissive to so many of my questions.
I
felt alone, unnoticed and a bit rejected.
Many
years later into my adult life (and with the help of a wonderful teacher) that
all changed. I was shown that my mother’s unavailability was a huge blessing.
Her distant ways enabled me to do things, learn things, and figure out things
for myself. I realized she gave me more than “absence” - she gave me strength and
independence.
When
this unfolded, the resentment began to melt my heart. A heart that I thought was
closed off to her and I could open the door to compassion I held so tightly as it traded places with the bitterness. I
was shown in more ways than one - a
lighter, gentler side to my ego and ignorance.
We
can’t change people… we can only change our reactions to them.
I
now know she didn’t answer my queries because she didn’t know how to respond. I
also now understand the vacancy - she needed to “be” someone else
other than a trapped housewife and the wife of a man who hung his own problems
in a bottle.
She
needed her space – she is human…
I am lucky that I have a Mom, as there are many that do not. And as I still try to understand our opposition to so many things, I also know without her, I am nothing – No thing, no soul, no person, no reason.
Lessons
of love, lessons well learned. There is so much more to people than what we
“think” we know… We
can’t help where we come from but we can change the way we think and feel about
it all.
Let
love in.
To
all the Moms, the Dads who are Moms, and all the ones in the village…
Happy Mother's
Day!
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-debbie
lynn
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