LOVE LOST TO ADDICTION

[Note to self - The ill considered]

[Note to self - The ill considered]

Please give me your silence; it offers so much more.

It isn’t fair to stand behind words have no substance and transparent disinterest. The vapid “I am sorry” that acts as a filler of insipid concern (as if there is nothing else to do or to say) – it leaves a cold chill.

Sorry: An overused and trite expression that so easily pops out the mouth into thin air, and is expected to take care of business - So casual… this malady; it is meaningless and I just have to ask, why bother?

I watch you wrestle with unimaginative empathy as you embezzle feelings (because you have none left to give) and I wonder where the truth is actually hidden in you these days. Are you so damaged that there is no way out?

I don’t think so; I know you better than that – and numb really isn’t your best color.

Perhaps you could put the ego/pride aside if only for a moment - and remember. Remember what it was like to love fully, deeply and without a reason. Remember when your wild side was mystic, enchanting and vividly expressed with elegant intent.

Remember when you were happy?

Apologies are only as good as the designed intention, and if you think yours is clean – you are wrong; it is dirty. I implore you to bathe in some indigo authenticity. Not for me, for your heart, for your honor and your truth.

This reflection holds many secrets and you have shown me the empty well as an example of who not to be. A forgery, an imposter an artificial soul that is intoxicatingly gorgeous but completely dead inside and I weep. Addictions are real.

One day all that plastic will break down to nothingness, with only a shell of who once was there – but not to worry, change is good as long as you are able to get above the frenzied garbage of the contrived. Being true is self-evident when we see through rose-colored glasses but when blinded by an old story there is nothing rose-colored about it… and you know.

It isn’t that I am looking for the original to come back, it is just a longing to have some semblance of that beautiful essence I know exists under a guise of empathy laced with sadness – and all the words of void that are spoken out of obligation, (not significance or care) are so frigid.

Take a chance and run ablaze.

Give me your fire, your warmth and comfort. Lost is a place to be found again and again so please don’t be afraid of the light - your darkness doesn’t become you. All I ask for is the truth no matter what kind of pain it inflicts, it is far better than unattended words that are never going anywhere.

-debbie lynn


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